Forgiving

Anger, hatred, loathing, resentment, bitterness and keeping a grudge are all barriers that may deny us happiness in life. Forgiving is one of the golden gates to happiness.

There are four basic types of forgiveness: Forgiving another person, asking for forgiveness from another person, forgiving ourselves and asking for forgiveness from the divine (god or the universe).

Forgiving another person…

Forgiving relates to the past tense and how it affects the present tens and will affect the future.

Our past can teach us many lessons. Carrying unforgivable cases in our lives may cause us suffering. The power of REAL forgiveness is enormous and may lead to positive transformations.

Many times, it is needed to look at the traumatic event that offended us with a “Bright Spotlight” and understand what has happened, before proceeding to forgive. 

Forgiving may be looked at as a selfish action, wanting to put the past behind, without considering the full implications. Maybe the offender will interpret forgiveness so that it will encourage harming others in the future? Care is surely needed in this case.

A companionate approach to forgiveness is looking at the offender also as a victim. Most probably the offender was hurt at a certain point in life. Good chance that the offender was a victim of abuse or other harmful experiences. If we really have a need for blaming and find it difficult to forgive our offender, we can roll-on the blame to our offender’s offender.

There is a big difference between conceptual forgiveness and profound deep forgiveness. Some people may feel that they have forgiven others for whatever wrong or harm that they feel was done to them. Forgiveness is complete only when there is no-hate, no-resentment, no bitterness and no anger. This is not an easy transformation, for people that were hurt deeply.

If the person, that we feel has offended us, is accessible (sometimes they are not among the living anymore or impossible to locate), it may be a good idea to try and contact that person and make sure by deeds or clear words that we have forgiven that person. In some cases, repeating this action after some time is needed to solidify the forgiveness.

Forgiving does not mean that we forget
Forgiving does not mean that we were not really hurt
Forgiving does not mean that we are weak
Forgiving does not require acceptance from the offender
Forgiving is in the interest of the person that was hurt
Forgiving is moving on and starting a new chapter
Forgiving is a process that takes time
Forgiving is letting go of resentment, bitterness, hate and anger
Forgiving is strength

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